"My daughter’s friend is obsessed with Hannah Montana. What can I do?"

“My daughter’s friend is obsessed with Hannah Montana. What can I do?” asked a mom. She was looking for advice on ways to manage her six-year-old daughter’s friendship in a way that supported her own values. The “Tween Scene” is hitting kids younger and younger, and it is no joke.

First off all, there isn’t a quick solution. It begins with conversations with your own child, about what you value and the choices you make. It includes conversations with the parents of children in your life, about the same things…your values and the choices you make. It can be awkward and difficult to have those conversations with other parents, especially when you don’t know them well. Printed materials, such as the TRUCE’s Toy Action Guide http://www.truceteachers.org/toyguides/T_Guide_web_08.pdf or Media and Young Children Action Guide http://truceteachers.org/mediaguides/%202008%20Media%20Guide.pdf can be great ice-breakers. Share a copy with grown ups you know (remember the guides are FREE) and use that as a springboard to open the conversation. Also, know that this conversation will be ongoing, over weeks, months and maybe even longer.

In the meantime, here are some other strategies to steer the play dates away from Hannah Montana, Zack and Cody, Sponge Bob, Super Mario Brothers, or whatever it is your children’s friends are excited about, that is leaving you less than excited:

~When possible, meet at a playground or park for your play dates. Without a screen around, the children will be more likely to follow their own imaginations.

~In bad weather, meet at the local library and share books.

~Have the friends over to your house where you will have more control over the environment.

~If you are going over to the friend’s house, bring a creative, open-ended toy to share…such as sidewalk chalk. It will literally draw kids away from the screen.

~Find mutual areas of interest and support those. Hunting for bugs, play dough, baking muffins …anything to steer the play and conversations toward positive influences.

~Share games from your childhood! Kids love to learn about games you played as a child. Kick-the-Can, Spud, Mother May I, Red Light Green Light, Red Rover! Think back and remember what you loved…they’ll love it, too.

~If the play date is going to be at the friends’ house, and you know that the TV will eventually be turned on, bring some of your own favorite DVD’s to watch. Explain why you and your family like them. (Maybe animal shows or space exploration, whatever it is.)

If you have other strategies to share, please post them here!