I came home the other night to find a small dent in the kids’ bedroom wall. The dent was the size and shape of my son’s forehead. “What happened?” I asked my husband. “Well,” he explained, “We were watching The Incredibles and this guy [one of our sons] was pretending to be ‘Dash’ [the child in the Incredibles family who can run extremely fast] and he ran and jumped into bed – and right into the wall.”
Do kids imitate what they see on television? Well, clearly my kids do. Luckily, the wall was pretty much okay – and the head, too.
A more violent movie series, however, has had an even stronger effect on our boys. They recently began watching the Star Wars series. This is amazing to me, since up until a few months ago, they were too frightened to watch just about any movie. This includes Finding Nemo and even a few of the Thomas the Tank Engine episodes. (One episode features a train derailing from a bridge and falling into a river – leaving ghosts behind.)
When the boys started asking to watch the Star Wars movies (they had read some of their dad’s Star Wars books) we agreed. A part of me was glad that they were becoming less frightened by what they saw on the screen – and although I was never a fan of the series, their dad was. Plus they had watched plenty of NOVA space specials, and wanted to take the next leap.
However, now that they have been indoctrinated into the Star Wars universe, light sabers and guns have become a primary focus of their play. When we played charades with our cousins last week, my sons wrote down every Star Wars character they could think of (including from the Clone Wars animated series), and took special pleasure in acting out fight scenes they had watched in the movies. They’ve also gotten very adept at imitating the sounds of the automatic weapons and explosions. “I like the Clone Wars the best,” my son explained, “Because you don’t have to wait too long for something to get blown up.”
To be honest, I’ve only seen one of the movies, and I only watched it once. “I didn’t realize there is so much shooting in Star Wars,” I said. “Well, mom,” my son explained, “It has ‘war’ in the name. ‘Star Wars’. It’s all about war.” Wow. I never even thought of that. I always focused on the outer space aspect – never the war aspect. But there it is – right in the title.
Now, of course, I regret that we gave in and let the boys watch, even though they watch it with their dad. They aren’t even six years old yet. Last night, when my son was upset, he said he wanted to get a gun and shoot the whole world. That was hard to hear and I felt responsible. I told him, “You can be upset, and you can be angry, and you can tell us what you are angry about, but shooting people is a real serious thing. It isn’t a joke.” I realized they are just too young to be watching Star Wars. Even if they beg. My husband agrees. Watching the Star Wars series now, through the lens of a father who works in healthcare – and at a time when our country is actually at war – he has gained a new perspective.
I knew there was a reason we don’t have a television. I guess I just needed a reminder.
Geralyn, as usual, we couldn't agree more. We actually noticed a a change in our son's behavior to the more violent even after watching "The Incredibles" – he would punch more, etc.
Keep up the posting!
Hi Geralyn. I admit I'm surprised you "gave in" to Star Wars. At the same time, I find it so easy to relate. Sarah Rose has turned 13, and I'm actually excited by the prospects of watching some edgier movies with her. We watched "13 Going on 30" with her over break. Most of her friends have been watching PG-13 movies for a long time. I don't regret holding off, but now it's so tempting to let 11 year old Joanna watch with us, even though she is CLEARLY not ready for the subject matter. I literally have to shake my head to think straight on these matters. Why do we get in such a hurry for them to grow up?
I am surprised, too, Michelle. I guess I was distracted with my own work and happy that Mike and the boys were busy with their, "guy time". I really was happy that the boys were getting less apprehensive about watching shows and movies – honestly I've been surprised at some of the scenes that scare them – sometimes the mildest bit of peril sent them running out of the room. Now we've gone too far the other way and have to pull back. Not fun.
I also hear from lots of parents that it is hard to keep younger siblings away from shows/DVDs that older siblings can watch – the temptation to give in grows. Good luck keeping them young – and I will keep trying to do the same!
The problem with a movie like "Star Wars" is that it's such a part of American kid culture that it's easy to forget that it's a PG-rated movie, and not G-rated. Although it has some positive themes relating to good prevailing over evil, it's not necessarily intended for young children. It's pretty easy to see how a parent might simply think of it as more of a fun, rollicking diversion and forget that it contains a fair amount of violence, albeit relatively mild by today's standards.
Here are a couple of really solid, informative links to film review sites that provide detailed information on any given film's content (sex, violence, language, intense scenes, etc.):
http://www.kids-in-mind.com
http://www.screenit.com
I hope they prove useful in helping to determine when a movie is appropriate for a child of any age.
Like you, I always thought about the sci-fi space adventure part of the movies. Your boys are right though… as they pointed out, "war" is right there in the title. My son has been watching the movies also, and is mostly interested in the battle scenes…
Thanks, ACM, I will check out those sites.
And Beth, the "war" component is extra relevant these days. Yesterday morning, as we ate breakfast, NPR radio was on in the background. "Why are they always talking about dying?" my son asked. I sadly answered,"Because it is the news, and our country has been at war your whole life."
Even without television and movies, war and killing are in our children's lives every day. Why is war so prevalent in entertainment when it is such a part of real life? I am at a loss.
I don’t know if there’s one truth to answer your question as to why war in so prevalent in entertainment. Fighting seems to be everywhere, and when I see the headlines of the gruesome atrocities of war, I wonder what the children who can read think of these scary stories. The media saturation normalizes war and fighting for our children and attempts to put these acts into some sort of higher, more moral or noble context to make it more palatable. Your post is a great example of how easily our children can become desensitized. Our son is nearly three and all he knows of fighting is the disagreements between Henrietta Pussycat and X the Owl on our Mr. Rogers dvd. Hoping this will last for a while!
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