Empowered by Play » Free-Range Kids

Play Memories

Geralyn — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 13:29:31 +0000

The other night I was with a great group of teachers for our local “National Writing Project” Early Literacy Study Group. Each month we start our meeting with a writing prompt. This one was so much fun, I thought I’d share it:

“Draw a map of a childhood place where you liked to play. Label your map briefly. Use your map to guide your writing about a treasured play memory.”

We had about 15 minutes to draw the map and then write. I drew a picture of the suburban Massachusetts neighborhood where I lived from 9 months of age until I was 7 or 8. I have so many great memories, here is part of what I wrote:

Freedom. Freedom to explore. Freedom to make choices and sometimes get hurt. We traveled through backyards and through woods. Inventing new games and improving on old ones. Almost always outside. Riding bikes on the street that wasn’t too busy. The parents were inside and didn’t bother us too much. We knew where to get them when someone got hurt. (Twice that I remember.)

Feeling happy usually. Guilty sometimes – like when I tried a big kid’s cigarette down by the water where we went fishing, or when we played “King of the Hill” on the piles of construction gravel we were forbidden to play on.

But mostly happy and alive.

Almost everyone in the group wrote about playing outdoors – about the freedom to explore and about big groups of kids playing together. Urban, suburban and rural kids alike – we had similar freedoms. Everyone had wonderful play memories and drawing the map helped to literally draw the memories out of us. Forgotten sounds, feelings and people came flooding back to as we sketched and wrote our reflections.

It made us wonder about the kids of today and what their “play maps” will look like when they are grown up. What will they remember? We talked about the lure of video games and screens, and the fear that permeates our days, and how hard it is for parents to let their kids explore the way we did.

We also wondered…how is this affecting young teachers whose schema for play has been formed by their own scheduled play dates, adult-directed play, video games and minimal school-time play? How can they begin to imagine the richness of play if they didn’t experience it themselves? How does this affect their teaching?

Lots of questions to ponder, for sure. And it all connected so perfectly with the ideas Lenore “Free-Range Kids” Skenazy was speaking about last Friday at the Early Year’s Institute. (see previous post)

Consider trying the “play map” prompt above. You may be amazed at the memories you uncover. What do you think your children’s play map will look like 30 years down the road when they think of a treasured play memory?

For a related post check out: Raising Free-Range kids

Thanks, EYI!

Geralyn — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 12:47:20 +0000

A big thank you to The Early Years Institute for the wonderful conference on Friday. The conference, “We Interrupt This Program: Playing and Learning in the Age of Hyper-Media”, brought together many folks fighting the good fight on behalf of children. The Early Years Institute is a young non-profit organization aimed at “helping communities value children”, and if they are new to you, they are definitely worth learning more about.

For me, one of the best aspects of the conference was meeting other members of the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood. It was like meeting old friends – even though we’d never met before. We spoke the same language and felt invigorated talking with each other – wonderful! For my workshops, I presented with Kimberly Mullaney, who is the director of Education Services at WNET/Thirteen (PBS on Long Island). Kimberly and I spoke the same language on a number of issues – especially the importance of co-viewing and how to talk with your children before and after watching a show or movie together. We also agreed that the screen should not be a babysitter and that screen time should not replace healthy creative play times, outdoor play or take place of quality family time.

We did disagree about the use of television in the classroom. Kimberly trains teachers on how to use television clips appropriately, and her tips were good ones. But for me the value of watching a Clifford episode (or even a clip from it) is just not worth the time away from active learning or the implied endorsement of PBS, their sponsors and preschool screen time – even when the program is shared in a thoughtful way. When I know that preschoolers are already spending 32 hours a week engaged with screens, I don’t want them watching TV in school. Period. (Not to mention the Chuck E Cheese’s promo that came on right before the Clifford show began – yikes! As a parent, I definitely don’t want preschoolers seeing that at school.)

One thing we agreed totally about were the harmful effects commercials can have on children and family life. We both talked about the recent Toyota Highlander commercial, where the cool kid is plugged into earbuds and doesn’t have to listen to his parents as they drive in their Toyota Highlander. At the stoplight he sees the nerdy kid in the car with the lame parents who are singing as they drive in their (apparently) uncool car. The way I understood the ad, it is uncool to have parents who sing joyfully and it is way better to have a Toyota Highlander so you can tune out your parents. I would put the YouTube link in here, so you could view the ad, but the commercial is no longer available on YouTube. Hmmm. Interesting. Last week I called and registered a complaint with Toyota. I know other members of CCFC did also. If you’ve seen this commercial, and you find it offensive, I encourage you to call. It only takes a couple of minutes and the number is 1-800-331-4331. There is no doubt that raising children today is hard enough without being seriously undermined by big corporations such as Toyota. Calling them to task could make a difference. I have to say, it was great that we agreed this commercial is offensive, and we also agreed that smart phones and texting are taking away precious time which parents used to spend talking with their infants, toddlers and preschoolers. (Why, then is Sesame Street…a company parents trust… making apps for iphones – and furthering the distance between little ones and their caregivers?)

On an up beat…the day ended with a greatly appreciated hour of laughter as we listened to Lenore Skenazy share her journey from New York columnist and average mom to becoming known as “America’s Worst Mom” and her subsequent blog and then a book Free-Range Kids: How to Raise Safe, Self-Reliant Children (Without Going Nuts with Worry). Lenore uses her hilarious blend of storytelling and reality-checking to help paint a picture of today’s world – (and here I paraphrase) a world where we are so worried about our children being kidnapped, that we have, in fact, kidnapped our children. I finally bought myself a copy (early birthday present!) and can not wait to dig in.

Finding Balance in the Age of Hyper-Media

Geralyn — Mon, 29 Nov 2010 14:41:01 +0000

Here’s hoping your weekend holiday was wonderful – and filled with many chances to play “unplugged”. Yesterday, my family and I spent a few hours taking a walk on trails around a nearby lake. As we walked, the boys, of course, invented a few games to play along the way. Tossing acorns into the lake became a game of skill as they tried to toss their acorns into the center of the concentric circles of waves caused by the previously-tossed acorn. We were all fascinated by the beautiful patterns of waves that emerged from the splash each acorn made – circles, upon circles, upon circles…delicately crashing into each other. Wish I’d brought the camera, but you’ll just have use your imagination.

As we walked, the “step only on moss game” got pretty tricky at some points, and didn’t last too long, while “racing to the next trail post” (to be the first to reach the next quarter mile marker) never got old. Dad is an expert at skipping stones across the lake, and finding great stones to skip was an adventure all in its own. Watching him toss the stones and counting the skips was also fun, though after countless tries the boys weren’t too successful (yet) at skipping their own stones. (For the record, I’m okay. I know the technique and can get a few hops out of the lightest, flattest stone. Their dad can make big rocks skip like nobody I’ve seen in a long time.)

We made it a few miles this weekend, and are determined to revisit the lake over the upcoming months – extending the walk each time – so that we can eventually make the trek all the way around the lake. (But I don’t think we’ll ever be able to do that walk with only stepping on moss that whole time.)

Other family fun included playing with cousins, making origami ornaments for the Christmas tree and reading silly poems from our new Jack Prelutsky book (bought second hand from the library – it is in great condition and lots of fun). We did watch some shows together, too, a few episodes of Mythbusters from the Discovery Channel. We don’t have TV per say, but we do get Netflix (DVDs borrowed through the mail) and watch some things together on the laptop. For us, it is a balance that works, and I like it because we totally control what we watch and when we watch it. (And best of all – with Netflix our shows don’t have commercials!) On Thursday morning as we baked muffins to bring to Thanksgiving dinner, I turned on my laptop to get a glimpse of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. For a few minutes, my sons were intrigued with the huge balloons: Pokemon, Kung Fu Penguin, etc. Soon though, one of my sons remarked in disbelief, “Are all these media-linked?!” I laughed and said, “Looks like it.” Needless to say, we turned off the computer and got back to muffin making – with Aaron Copland on the radio.

How do you find balance in your life? How do you keep technology and media from taking over too much? How do you find ways to use technology for good? That is the topic I’ll be discussing (along with Kimberly Mullaney from WNET/Thirteen) at the Early Years Institute conference coming this Friday, December 3rd. The conference is titled “We Interrupt this Program: Playing and Learning in the Age of Hyper-Media” and it will be held in Islandia, New York (on Long Island). Lenore Skenazy, author of Free Range Kids will be on hand – and I am very much looking forward to hearing her again. She was once called “Americas Worst Mom” and her unique blend of realism and humor are not to be missed. Maybe I will see you there…

Raising Free-Range kids

Geralyn — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 19:23:00 +0000

On Monday, a reader left the following comment on the post Connecting with nature, connecting with each other: “I remember as a kid exploring woods by myself and with friends, and by ten I was riding my bike alone a mile or more from home. But I don’t feel comfortable letting my kids even go to the park across the street alone. They don’t spend nearly as much time outside as I used to. I don’t know how much of the concern for children’s safety is real and how much is my perception, but I wish I could give my kids the freedom I had. It means that my kids get a very different childhood experience than I did, and not for the better in that sense, and although I think about this issue a lot, I’m frankly not sure how to resolve it, except to try to get more time outside myself with them.”

The issues raised in the comments are good ones. Something that many parents are struggling with these days. David Elkin reports in his recent book The Power of Play that “on a typical day, a child is six times more likely to play a computer game than ride a bike.” (p.27) I’ve read a few parenting websites which emphasize that the dangers of children staying inside and connected to the internet are far greater than those dangers they face playing outside. Whether the threat is real or perceived, however, finding ways to give children freedom to explore and connect with the world safely is a excellent goal, and finding time to spend with your children outside is a great start. It was the topic of recent NY Times op-ed essay by Nicholas Kristof, How to Lick a Slug. In the article, Kristof talks about his family’s backpacking summer ritual and reminds us of the powerful book Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature Deficit Disorder by Richard Louv. In many places, public parks (national, state, county and neighborhood) are taking on a renewed value in the eyes of families looking for inexpensive and accessible ways to spend time together outdoors. But that doesn’t answer the question of children exploring independently. For that, the best resource I know of is the book and blog Free-Range Kids by syndicated columnist Lenore Skenazy – a writer and mother who is raising her preteen kids in New York City. (The subtitle of her book is Giving kids the freedom we had without going nuts with worry.- sounds pretty good to me!)

Your kids’ childhood will be different than yours – in someways for good and someways for the not-so-good. Do what you can to find small ways to recreate the times you loved most. For example, I come from a large family (nine kids) and love the memories of playing together. Since I only have two kids of my own (and most of my siblings have just two kids) we had a “Cousins Camp” week in July. We brought most of the kids together to get just a taste of “Big Family” feel. Maybe there is a friend or relative you can trade living spaces with for a week or long weekend. Kids in the city benefit from spending time in more rural areas, and vice-versa. If it works well, make it a summer tradition or try it in a different season. Or, perhaps explore bike trails where your kids can at times ride ahead of you. Even small moments of independence and exploration can translate into good feelings for your children and for you.